you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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