dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
