dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I will pee on everything he values.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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