How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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