office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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