He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
