People with herpes should wear stickers.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
