If that was your dad, he is hot
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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