No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
