Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
