Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
