She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
