okay pat passed out under dana's car
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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