How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
