glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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