Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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