Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
