just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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