i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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