what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
