imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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