At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
