I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
