Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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