They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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