I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
