Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My bed smells like the plague
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