I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
