Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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