windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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