I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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