Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Terrible idea I love it
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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