Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
