I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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