respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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