My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
