me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
