Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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