Will you blow on my dice?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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