You smell like stripper and shame
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
