oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
