Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The adults are the big ones right?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
