I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
