I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
