Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
why is half of my head shaved?
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