it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
