I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
