I think scott just propositioned me for sex
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
