Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
