dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
