Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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