She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
