Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
